Priorities

"If I had it to do all over again . . ."

by Mike Farley

As I enter my 36th year of consulting for professional clients, primarily Dentists and their families, I am finding a very noticeable shift in the basic reasons why clients are retaining the services of consultants such as Tyson and myself. Previously, 90% of our new clients came to us with a need, or desire, for increased profitability in their practices. Yet, over the past 4-5 years we have seen a dramatic increase in the number of Dentists who are quite comfortable with their current profitability level -- but who are pleading for an increase in the quality time available to them, and for a significant reduction in their stress levels.

Neither of these trends should be surprising. The nation's economy has been strong throughout the 1990's. Also, the number of practicing Dentists remains the same while the Pacific Northwest's population has been growing at a substantial rate. These factors are major contributors to what is truly the "Golden Age of Dentistry."

At the same time, a portion of our new clients and their spouses do not appear to be very happy. Occasionally, they will break down and cry when explaining their personal frustrations, most of which are "time/stress" related.

More and more, our new clients are asking us to assist them in maintaining their comfortable financial lives -- and, concurrently, helping them to "find more time" to do the priority things in their lives -- or, simply, to be happy!

Isn't it interesting that, in this age of time and labor-saving devices, most of us are so busy "we can't find the wall with either hand"?

After 60 years I have a few observations regarding our daily schedules:

• We say that FAMILY is our #1 priority -- but, in many cases, WORK takes precedence. Harry Chapin describes it (sadly) in "The Cat's in the Cradle."

• Our daily lists include very few of our self-proclaimed LIFE PRIORITIES.

• There is very little correlation between one's wealth and/or education -- and one's happiness.

• Most "time crunches" are self-created.

• Getting "organized" is not the whole answer. Our daily lists are usually way too long.

• We spend too much of our time responding to what OTHER PEOPLE feel is important and/or urgent -- and much less time on the things WE feel are important. We can't say NO!

• ATTITUDE is so important. Cheerfulness, joy, contentment and satisfaction add to our happiness. Anxiety, hopelessness, guilt and anger take away from our happiness.

If "I had it to do all over again" these are some of the things on which I would focus:

With regard to FAMILY I would:

• Increase the time I spent with my children. Also, I would involve them more with "lifetime skills" and less with trying to have them become the next Michael Jordan.

• Schedule "couple time" with my spouse.

• Have a monthly "Family Business" meeting.

• Understand that on my Last Day -- "relationships will have been more fulfilling than was the money.

With regard to my LIFE PRIORITIES I would:

• Design, and constantly update, a plan to achieve these priorities.

• Review them on a daily basis.

• Share my commitments regarding these priorities with others, (i.e. family, friends, business associates) remembering that the more people who know of my commitments, the more apt I will be to do whatever it takes to achieve these goals.

I would still use all my available skills to be successful at my WORK. I would be delighted if I was on the upper end of the income scale. But I would:

• Keep all family members informed about our overall financial situation.

• Have a clear plan to spend less than I make.

• Not be enticed into thinking that I always needed "the biggest and the best." There would be more moderation in my lifestyle.

• Be a better SAVER.

About every six months I would pretend that the Executive Director of the Universe had ordered me to reduce the items on my Daily List by 20% -- or suffer dire consequences. With that in mind I would:

• Learn how to laugh at the demons in my brain that insist that everything I am doing is extremely important -- and nothing can be eliminated.

• Always ask the following question: What is the "worst case scenario" if I stop doing this item? Usually, the worst case isn't very bad.

• Share my decision to "stop doing certain things" with others. That way they could assist and encourage me during any uncomfortable period (I jokingly call it "the Valley of the Shadow of Death\.")

I would re-define the BALANCE in my Life:

• Perfect: Usually unattainable. Leads to missed expectations and disappointment.

• Excellence: Worth striving for. Allows for some mistakes.

• Good Enough: OK for many situations.

I would develop a process to get rid of the "clutter" in my life -- both physical and emotional. No more procrastinating!

As such as possible, I would avoid negative people/situations. No "light shines in" when we are constantly confronted with these negative situations.

I would be a better member of the local community. I would encourage those around me to be of more service to others. There is great contentment in assisting the less fortunate.

Remember -- "LIFE is how you spend your time." Today is not a dress rehearsal.

THIS IS IT!